Principles of Behavior – Never Assume Someone Else’s Motives Are Less Noble Than Yours

It’s easy to assume the intent of actions we don’t understand based on their impact, or confuse unfamiliar behavior with ill will. But intentions are rarely obvious, shaped by fears, hopes, and unseen struggles.

To you, your actions make sense. Your decisions are born from experience, logic, and necessity. But pause and remember: others feel the same about theirs.

That beginner who rolls too hard? They’re not reckless; they’re likely nervous and flooded with adrenaline.

That unrelenting coach? They're not callous; they believe in your potential; pushing you not to punish, but to show you who you could become.

Assume good intent.

Start from the premise that most people are doing the best they can, with the tools they have, from the place they’re in. This isn’t about ignoring harmful behavior; it’s about resisting the reflex to villainize people before you understand their story.

Egos want to be right, to feel superior, and so they label others as too aggressive, too fast, or too strong. But excellence isn’t found in those conclusions. It’s found in empathy. It’s in recognizing the effort, not just the outcome. It’s in offering grace where you might otherwise offer critique.

Let your discipline extend beyond your technique. Let it show in how you interpret others.

See the beginner not as a danger, but as someone trying.

See the tired partner not as lazy, but as human.

See the upper belt not as pretentious, but as someone carrying pressure you don’t yet understand.

Jiu-Jitsu is a physical practice, but it’s also a mirror. It shows us how we treat others, and how we hope to be treated. It’s a community where culture matters as much as control. Where mutual respect is built not only through sparring, but through perspective.

So bring more than your grips and your guard.

Bring humility.

Bring understanding.

Bring the benefit of the doubt.

Because in the end, how you see others says as much about you as your belt ever will.

And the patience, empathy, and respect you offer will shape not just your rolls, but your relationships, both on and off the mat.